1.) I ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE, NO MATTER WHAT
Nothing makes your partner feel closer to you than hearing they are loved by you just as they are. How often have we all felt unlovable in moments when we don’t feel our best? Knowing we have a partner that has our back and supports us through our highs and lows helps us to start believing in ourselves again.
Does this mean accepting all behavior from your partner all the time? Of course not. However, accepting them at their core, believing in them and expressing to them the things you love and admire about them is always ok. In fact, by doing this it will help your partner feel safe, loved and closer to you.
2.) YOU ARE MY PRIORITY
It’s crucial to make your partner feel important on a daily basis if you want the relationship to last. Daily gestures such as asking how their day went, show interest in their hopes, dreams and passions, showing affection with a hug and kiss helps our partner feel that they matter. Also, life sometimes throws us curveballs and sometimes we need a helping hand or someone to vent our frustrations to. Listening to your partner non-judgmentally and offering a helping hand can help your partner feel supported and reassured that, when push comes to shove, you will be there for them.
3.) I RESPECT YOU
Even the best relationships have conflict and encounter adversity. When we have respect for our partner, and they feel that respect, it makes getting through those difficult moments immeasurably easier. It is important to validate your partners perspective, even if you don’t agree with it, and work through conflicts using thoughtful, respectful and empathic language. Small daily gestures of letting your partner know when you are running late, apologizing when you know you were in the wrong and taking in your partner’s feedback when they express their needs tells them you respect them, their time and what they contribute to the relationship.
4.) WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER
No one has to go it alone, especially in a relationship or marriage and the couples that have staying power work together as a team. Why? Well, two heads are always better than one when it comes to tackling an issue or a problem. Also, by working on it together, it prevents your partner from feeling disconnected or lonely. Bonus feature, it also prevents toxic feelings of resentment from building between the two of you in the long-term. Figure out ways that you can tackle the issue together, assign tasks you each can complete and have patience if it doesn’t go right the first time.
5.) I LOVE YOU
Yes, even when you are angry. I remember when a girlfriend of mine told me that she tells her husband, “I love you, I just don’t love what you are doing right now.” Saying “I love you” can restore faith in your partner that the relationship has not completely collapsed after an argument and can give a sense of security. Often we can say we love our partner even when their behavior is rubbing us the wrong way. Saying “I love you” can also be a way to express, well….love. Some couples make it a ritual to say they love each other before falling asleep every night. The key to all of it is, the expression of your love should be genuine and authentic to you. Express it so your partner knows they are loved and lovable, which is a wonderful and profound feeling.